


KuroTsuki VS. YachiTen

by CO32minus



Series: HQ!! Prank War [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, Cute, Gen, Light-Hearted, Lizards, M/M, Prank Wars, hopefully
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 01:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17498888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CO32minus/pseuds/CO32minus
Summary: Tsukishima is just one very smart person amongst a bunch of goofs.





	KuroTsuki VS. YachiTen

**Author's Note:**

> This weeks episode on: can you tell I'm American.
> 
> Hopefully y'all can tell they're in an American college, because Japan does not have the same dorm systems we do.
> 
> Also I have them go by Japanese naming conventions solely because it sounds bizarre to me otherwise.

As soon as the teams are announced, Tsukishima sits his boyfriend down on his shitty dorm-room couch, and says:

"You are not allowed to decide what our prank is."

Kuroo blinks at him, one hand to his chest in mock offense. "Not unexpected but also - rude. I haven't even said anything yet so may I ask why?" He asks the last part with a flutter of his eyelashes.

"Because I know you're in this for the long haul. I'm not. I don't want to spend a whole month on this. Or worse - longer." Tsukishima remembers the laundry prank. How Kuroo dragged Daichi into doing something like that he's still not sure. Either way, he refuses to put that much energy into this game. 

Resigning, Kuroo clicks his tongue. "Fair enough." He turns to his boyfriend, resting one elbow on the back of the couch, putting on that cat-like grin Tsukishima pretends to dislike. "So if you're in charge - what do you have in mind?"

 

\------

 

No matter what he has planned, Tsukishima is certain this round won't last very long. Yachi and Tendou are a disaster team. 

Yachi gets so anxious from doing good things, she'll have a hell of a time trying to do "bad" things, and whatever Tendou will suggest, it certainly will be bad. Possibly terrifying, if it's left entirely up to him. But to Yachi's credit she's lawful-good enough to balance out Tendou's chaotic-evil.

Whatever the case may be, in order to beat them, Tsukishima needs answers. 

What type of prank are Yachi and Tendou planning? Where will it take place? What are they using? How long will it take? Over the course of the next week, he pays extra attention to Yachi's schedule, while Kuroo follows Tendou. Tsukishima's position is less suspicious and comes off as their typical day-to-day friendship, where as Tendou absolutely knows what the fuck is up with Kuroo. 

(It's not that he's not trying. He's just...Kuroo.)

And when the two of them feel satisfied with what they've gathered, Tsukishima just needs one more piece to finish the puzzle.

 

10:32 PM [Tsukki]: tadashi can i ask you a question

10:32 PM [Yamaguchi]: !!! Sure! What is it? :o

10:33 PM [Tsukki]: when are yachi and tendou planning on pranking us

10:34 PM [Yamaguchi]: o

10:34 PM [Yamaguchi]: 😔

10:34 PM [Yamaguchi]: I don't know

10:34 PM [Tsukki]: yes you do. i know you know

10:35 PM [Yamaguchi]: :/ sorry I really don't

10:35 PM [Tsukki]: tadashi

10:36 PM [Yamaguchi]: 

      😔

 👊/||\\_

   _/¯ ¯\\_

10:36 PM [Tsukki]: disgusting

10:36 PM [Tsukki]: disgusting disgusting

10:37 PM [Yamaguchi]:

👋

    \ 😳

        || \\_

    _/¯ ¯\\_

10:37 PM [Tsukki]: STOP.

10:38 PM [Yamaguchi]: Yeah I'm not telling you

10:38 PM [Tsukki]: why not

10:38 PM [Tsukki]: is  your faith to yachi stronger than your faith to me

10:39 PM [Yamaguchi]: Yes

10:40 PM [Tsukki]: understandable

 

Ok, maybe that wasn't the way to go. 

Gladly, Tsukishima and Yachi have more than one mutual friend.

 

10:41 PM [Tsukki]: Shouyou when are Tendou and Yachi going to prank me.

10:43 PM [Hinata]: Ha! im not telling u!!!! u’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to see!!!!

10:46 PM [Hinata]: WAIT

10:46 PM [Tsukki]: thanks

 

\-------

 

Friday classes drag on for all of them. But after a long day of waiting, Yachi nervously makes her way to Tendou's dorm building, struggles with the keypass to get in, and finally makes her way up to her teammate's room. 

Tsukishima has a good view of the front door from his own window.

Once Yachi's inside, Kuroo and Tsukishima set up their trap as quickly as they can. They've made sure to warn everyone in the hall not to leave their rooms while it happens. It could be a mess.

 Kuroo does the honor of thoroughly taping a thick sheet of plastic wrap across the bottom of Tendou's doorway, while Tsukishima sets up a trip wire trap down the corridor. Once Kuroo's done, they switch - Kuroo setting up a second trip wire, and Tsukishima covering the floor in oil. 

"You know...we're going to have to clean this up." Kuroo observes. 

Tsukishima shrugs. "It'll be worth it."

When they're all finished, the two boys stand at the end of the hallway, waiting. But it doesn't take too long before Yachi bursts out of room ready to attack.

Her initial look of determination immediately turns to one of fear as she trips over the cling wrap and onto the floor with a shriek, clutching a Nerf gun to her chest. Seeing the trap, Tendou doesn't follow, holding back in the shadows of his room. 

He can't hide for long though as Yachi slides increasingly fast down the hallway, setting off the first trip wire and screams "ARE THEY LIZARDS?" as she's showered with a net full of rubber lizards.

"LIZARDS?" Tendou shouts in excitement, rushing to see and tripping over the plastic wrap. 

Finding himself on the ground and racing towards a thousand rubber lizards, Tendou shoots his Nerf gun wildly into the air, releasing not soft foam bullets, but tiny smoke bombs that explode upon impact with the ceiling and walls, quickly filling the room with thick purple smoke. There's so much of it neither Tendou nor Yachi see it when they hit the second trip wire and buckets of whipped cream descend upon them.

Even more unfortunately, Tsukishima doesn't get to watch. 

Actually, Tsukishima can't see anything at all. He hears Kuroo coughing from somewhere unknown, and a little bit of panic starts to set in realizing the smoke probably isn't good for Kuroo's asthma. Tsukishima calls out for his boyfriend, blindly reaching around for him. They find each other just as the fire alarm goes off.

There's the sound of doors opening, confused and angry murmuring, coughing. 

And above it all, Daichi's angry, authoritative voice.

"Everyone down stairs. Now!"

 

 

The chilly fall night air settles calmness into their backs as everyone files out of the building. Tsukishima glances over to Yachi and Tendou, whipped cream streaked thickly into their hair like mousse. Tendou holds a handful of lizards.

"Did we...win?" Wheezes Kuroo. "Was that winning?"

Tsukishima blinks. "I have no goddamn clue."

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, Kuroo got his inhaler from his room before they left.


End file.
